Category: Motherhood

“And your Father, who sees in secret will repay you.” – Matthew 6:4,6

It was the smallest of comments really.

If I weren’t in such desperate need of hearing it, I may not even have heard it.

But as I lay resting in the hospital recovering from my second c-section (and rather enjoying the fact that if I needed anything all I had to do was push the “call” button and it would be done for me–yay, nurses!), I had a roomful of visitors with me.  Between my in-laws, my parents, my husband, our toddler son, and our new infant son the room was near maximum capacity.  Babies really are such a blessing!  But motherhood doesn’t come without its trials, of course, and I was already beginning to worry about how I would handle an active toddler, a newborn baby and a husband who worked long hours once I returned home and our families returned to theirs.  My heart grew weary just thinking of it. Then, there it was, all I needed to hear floated above the chatter of the varying conversations in the room.  I heard my dad’s voice rise above the others saying, “The three of us have only had to watch [the two-year-old] since yesterday and he’s already completely worn us out.”  Then he turned and grinned at me.  “Yep.  He wore out all three of us, and all we had to do was half of what Lisa does every day.”

And there it was.  Everything and nothing in those few sentences.

Every part of validation, affirmation, encouragement, reassurance, admiration, appreciation, confidence, trust.  One big giant Atta girl! You got this!

No part of criticism, judgment, unsolicited advice, doubt or skepticism.  No You really need to step up your game, or else!

I sometimes forget that God wants to encourage me, not condemn me.   I get so busy focusing on my own self-critical voice pointing out all the ways in which I fall short that I forget to listen for Him telling me that He sees my efforts…and they are good!

Enter Jesus, the Living Word.

Jesus tells us not once, but three times today (I think that means it’s important!) in His sermon on the mount that our “Father, who sees in secret” and “sees what is hidden” will repay us.  He says this in the context of the unseen, unnoticed things we do for or give to others (almsgiving);  the unspoken desires and longings churning deep in our hearts (prayer), and the self-serving things we give up or let go of in the interest of a greater good (fasting)…all within the context of doing these things without gaining acclaim from anyone.

And to each of these things, Jesus assures us, “God sees you.  God will repay you.  God sees you.  God will repay you. God sees you. God will repay you.”

And just how will God repay us?  Why, with Himself of course!  The more we do for God, the more we become like Him:  loving, kind, patient, caring, joyful, generous and peaceful.

And the more we become like Him, the more we can share Him with others.  That is the good news!

So, as we venture out into this desert of Lent, let’s remember to keep our hearts open for  the Living Word of our Father.   Much as my dad’s words have carried me over the years as I’ve journeyed through motherhood, so, too, will our Father’s Word carry us as we journey through this season.

Pray:  Lord, thank you for your generous love and your encouraging Word.  I thank you for all the blessings in my life, and for helping me shoulder the burdens that come my way.  I am grateful I can always count on you to be there for me.  Help me to give generously, love deeply and walk humbly with You.  Amen.

“May the Lord bless you and protect you.  May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.  May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.”

Numbers 6:24-26 (NLT)

I still remember the first time my first-born child smiled at me.  I had worked sooooo hard for that smile.  Trying to coo and coax it out of him.  Worrying that perhaps he was missing that all-important milestone all the parenting books insisted he was fully capable of reaching by now.

And then, one day as I sat there with him on my lap gazing up at me, and me exhausting myself by making faces working so hard to get a smile out of him,  I remember I took a break and glanced up to catch whatever was on TV at the time.  When I glanced back down ready to get back to this business of making-my-son-smile, there he was gazing up at me and, just like that, a big smile broke out on his face.

What a beautiful moment, right?  Mother and infant child gazing with total love into each other’s eyes?  Well, unfortunately my reaction was much different, and doesn’t exactly get me Mother of the Year.

I screamed.

Not like, “Yay for you!  What a good boy!”  But instead– I guess because it was so unexpected– I scooped him up and held him away from me suddenly (like I would have if he had just filled his pants)… and I screamed.  (In my defense, it wasn’t a long horror-movie scream.  Just a quick, “Agh!”)  Not surprisingly, my holding him away from me and the loud noise I made were enough to completely ruin the moment.

He started crying.

Yep. Good feeling gone.

I was reminded of that moment with my son as I read today’s readings and wondered how I would feel if I were able to see God and make him smile.

At first, the thought of this inspired me.  I enjoy laughing and being with people who make me laugh and smile. I often consider it a great gift and one I like to pass on to others when I can.  But God?  To make God smile?  How much greater would that be?

And then I remembered how all that hard work I put into trying to make my son smile caught me completely off guard when he offered his first smile up to me without any work at all.  And how the shock of that made me react less like the loving mother I long to be and more like one of the Three Stooges.

And yet the lesson is still there, isn’t it?  That we don’t need to work so hard at it.  We only need to bask in it.  Turn our faces towards it.  Return the smile.

Because God does smile upon us, and he is smiling upon us, and always has.  As he created us into being.  As he brought us his only Son.  As he sacrificed himself on the cross.  As he rose from the dead.  As his poured out his Spirit that lives and moves within us today.  And though the thought of that may be a little intimidating (go ahead and scream about it…I won’t judge you!), the truth is that as hard as we try to make him smile, we will miss it unless we take the time to bask in the light of it.  To hold it up before us and give it back in turn.  To carry it in our hearts and wear it on our faces as we go about our day.

My son is now a teenager and some days I find myself working just as hard as I did those first few weeks and months of his life trying to get a smile out of him.  But then, often when I least expect it, there it is…his big, toothy grin.  And the thought of it even now makes me smile.  No less a gift today than it was sixteen years ago.

Also a gift is the ability to sit –even for only a moment– in prayer and think of God’s smile.  Him as creator.  You and me as his creation.  Being smiled upon.  Returning the smile.

As we start a new year, perhaps hopeful (or perhaps not), of what this new year holds, let us take a moment today to remember that regardless of whether or not we feel it, God IS smiling on us.  He is smiling at you.  He loved YOU into being. His love is radiating in and through us–you and me.  His peace, which my Bible footnotes (NAB translation) tell me are from the Hebrew word Shalom meaning an all-encompassing hope of happiness, good health, prosperity, friendship, and general well-being, is a free gift he offers us, if only we are willing to turn to him.

You need not work so hard for it like a first-time mom might.

Simply trust in it.  Soak it up.

And let the Spirit of it guide you.

“Today I went into my laundry room, shut the door, filled three buckets of water, and lined them up against the door to keep it shut,” my friend said as soon as she picked up the phone, knowing it was me.  “What in the world happened?” I asked with some alarm.  “Oh, nothing really,” my friend replied, “it’s just that sometimes Mommy really needs a Time Out and there are never enough locks on the door.”

No doubt, few people can know the desperation and longing for solitude like mothers of young children. We go from being our own people, on our own schedules, doing our own thing and dreaming about the joys and beauty of motherhood, only to find that day after day, hour after hour, year after year without any time to ourselves, the reality of raising children can leave us feeling ragged, weary, and sometimes forgotten.  What we fail to realize is that very often, the first one who neglected to take care of us, was ourselves!

There are valuable lessons for everyone, though, found in the spirituality of motherhood.  For us onlookers, it is obvious that in order to be effective in what she does, the mother must always be sure to take some time away—in whatever form she can find it.  Jesus demonstrates this so well throughout his ministry.  In order to heal others he must separate himself from the crowds and pray.  Matthew tells us that Jesus withdrew “in a boat to a deserted place by himself” after hearing of the murder of John the Baptist, but the crowds follow him and gather on the shore.  After taking his time away, he returns to shore and is able to perform a miracle—the feeding of the five thousand (Matthew 14:13-23).  And Luke tells us after Jesus cleansed a leper “many crowds would gather” to hear him and be cured of their diseases, “but he would withdraw to deserted places and pray.” (Luke 5:16)

What is going on here?  We may wonder.  Why doesn’t he just heal them all at once?  While that is a question best answered by God in your own quiet time of solitude, I can share that, for me, it has become obvious that silence and solitude are the food and fuel for my soul.  The more I let my soul rest in silence “away from the crowds” with God, the more I am filled with patience and compassion for others.  For years, I was mistaken in my thinking that as a young mother my life of sacrifice and service to my children and family was, while a wonderful blessing, also my “cross to bear.”  I neglected to see that making time (because it is up to us to create the schedule, after all) to be alone in silence with God was not, in fact, my “cross to bear” but rather, the God-given “daily bread” of my human journey.  Many of us mistakenly view our service to others in this same way, in whatever way we serve.  We think the service itself is the “cross,” but I think that’s because we neglect to fuel up for the journey!  In its proper order, we soon come to realize that our service to others is not the cross we bear, but rather, the fruit we share that ripens through our time spent “laboring” in silence and solitude. What kind of labor is that?  You may wonder.  Sitting around and doing nothing?  I’d love to do that if I had the time!  (I invite you again to take that very question to God.  I would love to hear what you discover!)

Perhaps, like me, you have avoided silence and solitude for such a long time because somewhere in your depths you already know what you will discover.  It is the same thing that Jacob discovered when he was left alone and “a man wrestled with him until daybreak.” (Gen 32:24)  But, there is hope for all of us in Jacob’s story, too.  For at the end of the struggle we realize it was never God’s demand for Jacob to hold on, but rather Jacob’s refusing to let go of God, that resulted in his being blessed. (Gen 32: 26-28)

And then what? is a question I like to keep in mind, especially when it comes to striving for perfection.

I’ve found that asking myself that question usually helps me get to the root of what I’m trying to accomplish.

For instance, sometimes I imagine that day after day I will wake up, the house will be in order, the kids will be well-behaved, obedient, and sparkling clean from head to toe.  Our whole family will be loving and patient with our words to each other and we will exhibit nothing but absolute kindness and love.

 Ha!  You may think.  Impossible!  (And please.  Like I don’t know this?)  But, still, I like to imagine it.  Day after day me being a picture-perfect Supermom.  An Uberwife. My life as the picture of perfection.  Everything I do, I do perfectly, and with a happy heart, and without complaint.  (And then I would “pin” my life all over Pinterest for others to see!)  There they would see what I already know…that I am the quintessential wife of Proverbs 31, whose

” children rise up and bless her;  Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:  “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.”  (Proverbs 31: 28,29)

Uh-huh.  Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?  Isn’t that what I really think a Supermom is?  One whose children and husband (and though the verse doesn’t say it, other moms) “praise” her?  Wouldn’t it be nice to be THAT mom?  Even if only for a day?

But when I let my imagination go there, that’s when I find it most critical to ask myself:

And then what?

 Because that’s when I realize what my answer is, (though I’m a bit ashamed to admit it):

And then I wouldn’t need God.

 You know, it’s a real downer when you  realize that the very Being you claim to adore is also the one you’re trying to erase from your life.

But it all falls back into its proper place again when I realize that attaining the “perfect” life for myself would accomplish just that–the elimination of God.

Then, I simply ask myself again:

And then what? 

And then I see the monumental tasks before me.  And the pressure of it all.  And the weakness of my abilities to carry out any of it.

And I fall to my knees.

And I thank God for His being Him,

and for His making me me.

I just wanted to let you know, I’ll be taking a break from blogging this week.  My daughter is down and out with Rotavirus.  So I’m busy with my fair share of dumping buckets and doing laundry and such.

She’s better today, but still needs to rest.

And she likes me to be right there with her when she does.

And I may not be too smart in a 1000 different ways, but I’m smart enough to know that sitting with her is my most important job right now.

So, thank you all for waiting until I can get back you next week.  In the mean time, you can always check out my friend Anne’s blog here.

And until then, stay healthy!