“May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.”
Numbers 6:24-26 (NLT)
I still remember the first time my first-born child smiled at me. I had worked sooooo hard for that smile. Trying to coo and coax it out of him. Worrying that perhaps he was missing that all-important milestone all the parenting books insisted he was fully capable of reaching by now.
And then, one day as I sat there with him on my lap gazing up at me, and me exhausting myself by making faces working so hard to get a smile out of him, I remember I took a break and glanced up to catch whatever was on TV at the time. When I glanced back down ready to get back to this business of making-my-son-smile, there he was gazing up at me and, just like that, a big smile broke out on his face.
What a beautiful moment, right? Mother and infant child gazing with total love into each other’s eyes? Well, unfortunately my reaction was much different, and doesn’t exactly get me Mother of the Year.
Not like, “Yay for you! What a good boy!” But instead– I guess because it was so unexpected– I scooped him up and held him away from me suddenly (like I would have if he had just filled his pants)… and I screamed. (In my defense, it wasn’t a long horror-movie scream. Just a quick, “Agh!”) Not surprisingly, my holding him away from me and the loud noise I made were enough to completely ruin the moment.
He started crying.
Yep. Good feeling gone.
I was reminded of that moment with my son as I read today’s readings and wondered how I would feel if I were able to see God and make him smile.
At first, the thought of this inspired me. I enjoy laughing and being with people who make me laugh and smile. I often consider it a great gift and one I like to pass on to others when I can. But God? To make God smile? How much greater would that be?
And then I remembered how all that hard work I put into trying to make my son smile caught me completely off guard when he offered his first smile up to me without any work at all. And how the shock of that made me react less like the loving mother I long to be and more like one of the Three Stooges.
And yet the lesson is still there, isn’t it? That we don’t need to work so hard at it. We only need to bask in it. Turn our faces towards it. Return the smile.
Because God does smile upon us, and he is smiling upon us, and always has. As he created us into being. As he brought us his only Son. As he sacrificed himself on the cross. As he rose from the dead. As his poured out his Spirit that lives and moves within us today. And though the thought of that may be a little intimidating (go ahead and scream about it…I won’t judge you!), the truth is that as hard as we try to make him smile, we will miss it unless we take the time to bask in the light of it. To hold it up before us and give it back in turn. To carry it in our hearts and wear it on our faces as we go about our day.
My son is now a teenager and some days I find myself working just as hard as I did those first few weeks and months of his life trying to get a smile out of him. But then, often when I least expect it, there it is…his big, toothy grin. And the thought of it even now makes me smile. No less a gift today than it was sixteen years ago.
Also a gift is the ability to sit –even for only a moment– in prayer and think of God’s smile. Him as creator. You and me as his creation. Being smiled upon. Returning the smile.
As we start a new year, perhaps hopeful (or perhaps not), of what this new year holds, let us take a moment today to remember that regardless of whether or not we feel it, God IS smiling on us. He is smiling at you. He loved YOU into being. His love is radiating in and through us–you and me. His peace, which my Bible footnotes (NAB translation) tell me are from the Hebrew word Shalom meaning an all-encompassing hope of happiness, good health, prosperity, friendship, and general well-being, is a free gift he offers us, if only we are willing to turn to him.
You need not work so hard for it like a first-time mom might.
Simply trust in it. Soak it up.
And let the Spirit of it guide you.